Cancer

Cancer stinks, no doubt about it. The reality is that all of us will experience some impact from this awful disease; if it’s not us or our family, it’s someone we know or know of. The closer it is, the deeper the impact. Once you’ve been through it or watched it, you’ll never be the same. Your heart will ache when you hear the word. However, there is always a way to give and feel HOPE. You may need it yourself or you may need to share it. The fact is, the ups and downs of the ‘cancer road’ is smoother when people feel supported.

However, receiving can be hard. Pride and dignity can put on a brave front, but everyone yearns to feel and be supported. I get it. My family has experience; with both sad outcomes and good ones. My Father-in-Law fought cancer for 6 years and my Mother-in-Law for 12 months, before they lost their battles. However, we’ve had other family and friends beat it. Most recently, I had two friends diagnosed with breast cancer within a month of each other; thankfully, their prognosis looks good but, they have a long road ahead of them. Through these experiences, we often had to talk these people into letting us help them. They never wanted to impose on others, but I saw the gratitude well up inside them when support, of all kinds, was given. The gestures, big or small, all helped beyond words.

I know there are tons of suggestions on how to support people with cancer. After seeing support coordinated through Food Tidings for years and having some very authentic conversations with people I deeply respect, I wanted to share some recent take-aways. So, whether it’s October “Breast Cancer Awareness Month” or any other month, we want to make sure you have some meaningful, tangible ways to support others, make it easier for them to “receive” and GIVE HOPE.

That is the essence of Food Tidings – to give ‘comfort & joy’; and hope. 

Let’s make it a HOPE STORY, more than a cancer story.

10 Ways to Share Hope:

1. Take a Little Time: Just Be There. The ‘more the merrier’, is especially true when you’re going through something that’s not so merry. Chemo or radiation visits are one of those things. Yes, just “sit” there. Simple. No pressure. The smiling face of a friend and even the smallest chit-chat can provide a welcomed distraction to the anxiety and physical discomfort. They can do it alone, but it’s a huge gift if you can spare 1 hr to join them. Be courteous and read their ques; if they don’t seem up to talking much, that’s ok – just hold their hand or sit nearby. You are helping more than you know. They’ll remember the company over the treatment – a priceless gift. If you can’t be there in person, send a text, card or note letting them know you are there in spirit.

2. Meaningful Meals: Give nourishment and encouragement, in one! Providing a meal not only impacts the person fighting cancer, but the whole family. A simple dinner is always enough, don’t worry about being a chef! A few fun ideas that easily ‘fancy it up’ in a meaningful way: add a personal note or kid’s drawing, fix a ‘favorite’ dish of theirs or pick a dinner theme like ‘Mexican fiesta!’ to make it a dinner-party at home. They are more likely to remember the gesture, than what you actually cooked – so, take the pressure off. Of course, creating a Food Tidings schedule to coordinate meals is convenient and helps organize meal delivery for the family; easily giving instructions and details to meet the family’s needs. Rally the troops and give others the opportunity to help with meals, it’s a win-win-win.

3. Grocery Gratitude: This gift gives food, convenience and time – a true trifecta of help that is sure to have them bursting with gratitude! For someone going through chemo or radiation – it’s hard enough thinking about a grocery list…imagine trying to find the energy to actually stop at the store, lift legs that feel like 100 lb weights and fight nausea as you make your way through the grocery store. Then, the mere task of loading & unloading the grocery bags can zap you of energy for hours. Be a hero and provide some basic groceries or ask for their list, to pick up. There are so many options to make it a simple, but extremely useful gesture – send your driving teenager (great life & serving experience), order ahead for pick up or have the groceries delivered straight to their door.

4. Practical Please: Gifts that have a useful purpose are ‘multitaskers’ at its finest – practical and generous. However, don’t be afraid to ASK if they have something already. That’s the key. It’s true that chemo places are so cold. However, people often get a bag of essentials on their first day as part of the treatment. Multiples of the same thing can quickly turn to “waste”. Blankets and socks are really nice, but they probably don’t need 20 of them. Be practical and make a quick call or send a text with a list of a few different items and see what would be the most useful. They’ll appreciate it now and later, as you’ll be saving them from having to deal with all the “extras” that added up in the hall closet. This is not to say, that “fun” gifts are not appreciated or useful (laughter is always good for the soul!)…just another perspective to consider.

5. Comfort for Days: Jammies and lounge clothing are always a hit, especially right after a surgery. Having a new, comfy something to lounge in immediately brightens the mood and brings a smile to the face. You can’t go wrong with ‘soft and comfy’. By far, this is ranked as a favorite gift! Not sure about sizing? Discreetly ask a significant other or give them a gift card to a store with a note of what it’s intended for. Give them the directive to go on a “PJ or Loungewear Treasure Hunt” for themselves, otherwise they’ll often end up getting something for someone else in their family. Moms, especially, can be that way; so, give them the freedom to treat themselves.  

6. Happy Household Help: Don’t we all wish we had a cleaning-fairy? This is especially true when you don’t feel good. Helping someone pick up the house, doing a quick dusting, assisting with some laundry or hiring a housekeeper is a huge gift of happiness…on all fronts. You are either helping the person who is in charge of “the house” still accomplish their “job” even when they can’t (boosting hope & fighting discouragement) or giving a caregiver a welcomed reprieve from additional “work” and giving precious moments of rest. Don’t have the time or money yourself? A few friends or small group can pitch in and gift 3-6 months of house cleaning service to cover a treatment period. This little thing can take an unbelievable amount of stress off a person and family.

7. Flexible Funds: Not new, but still worth mentioning. Restaurant, Gas, Grocery and other gift cards are always appreciated. Patients often have to travel a distance to treatments and doctor offices. Being able to fill up the tank without financial tension or have a family member or friend use a gift card to get something to eat for the patient/group is SO useful! Cancer can have a financial impact on all families, and is certainly a financial burden for most. Having gift cards to fall back on is huge. It’s like Christmas in October, or whatever time of year it is! Gifting flexible funds for any of the basic needs is an easy go-to that you can trust will be put to good use.

8. Delightful Distraction: For the readers, give them an escape or happy distraction from what they are going through. Not cancer books; they can buy or research those on their own. Give “fun” or “funny” books. Magazines, of any kind! Word Search or coloring books can give them something to do. Uplifting books, such as devotionals, can be a gift that keeps giving; even after their treatment. One recommendation, “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way” By Lysa Terkeurst, came with big accolades from a good friend of mine in the midst of a breast cancer battle. (Disclaimer: We don’t get any marketing commission, just sharing a heart-felt recommendation.) Again, asking what they are interested in is always useful (and/or include a gift receipt). Giving coloring books to someone that doesn’t color is wasting your money and not hitting the mark, even though it’s well intended. A quick question or text to them, or someone close, will help make sure you get the best value for your efforts.

9. Funds to Fight: At the risk of talking too much “money”, let’s face the reality. Even with the best health insurance, medical co-pays, the patients’ portion of expenses, and tons of associated costs add up very quickly for families. Nobody wants to ask for financial help and it can be very difficult to discuss. However, what a gift it would be to have help with even just one medical bill. For some, there’s a point along the way when the well-intended “gifts” they receive start to look like “wasted dollar signs”. No one wants to be or seem ungrateful, but if they had the money for all of the gifts being donated they would gladly make the trade for the financial assistance and peace of mind. If only a family could easily and discreetly trade in unneeded or duplicate gifts for the money they were worth, that would be a game changer. Until then, reducing the ‘waste’ and giving them money to help where they need it most would be a welcomed gift, whether it’s asked for or not. It may not feel very ‘personal’ to you, but giving cold-hard cash could be the thing that reduces anxiety and helps their body to fight and heal without extra stress.

10. Prayer: The power of PRAYER can not be underestimated. Call it ‘meditation’, ‘good vibes’, ‘good thoughts’ or what you will. It works. Even people of little or no faith will appreciate the gesture of “prayer”; just mentioning the word can bring calming and soothing thoughts. It lets a person know that you actually do care and you want the best for them. Aside from the psychological assurance that the God of the universe knows what is going on through ‘prayer requests’, taking a moment to pray healing and life into a person reaches them, and you, on so many levels. Don’t just say it, actually do it – pray for them in person, set a daily or weekly reminder on your phone and/or write them a card that shares a prayer so they can read it themselves (over and over). Hearing something can make you believe it, especially when you’re too exhausted to say it yourself. Prayer can make all the difference. It gives HOPE. Not only is it free to do, but the impact is priceless; again, to both of you.

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We hope this list gives you some new perspective and/or inspires you to come up with your own ideas to support someone you know. HOPE is always in style, so give it away freely.

Don’t you love meeting kindred spirits? While I had never actually met the people at the Joy Bus Diner, as soon as I saw their tagline, “Making our valley a happier place one meal at a time” and their mission to deliver meals to cancer patients, I knew we must be kindred spirits.

In fact, something kept drawing me to their work; from a Costco magazine write up to social media posts, I kept running into them; so I had to find out more. They are a local Arizona organization, the birthplace of Food Tidings and our home base for operations. While their service is targeted to a specific area in Phoenix, it’s too good not to share with everyone. At the very least, I hope others will be inspired to create a “community that cares” in their local area; a goal that Food Tidings and The Joy Bus mutually share.

The Joy Bus is a Not for Profit organization whose sole purpose is to relieve the daily struggles of homebound cancer patients with a fresh Chef Inspired meal and a friendly face. Like Food Tidings, The Joy Bus aims to relieve the burden put on families during this time. Seems like a match made in “meaningful meals” heaven, right?

“The Joy Bus is a nonprofit organization that delivers fresh, chef-inspired meals, social support, and nutrition education at no cost to homebound cancer patients within a 10 mile radius of 32nd Street and Shea Blvd in Phoenix. We deliver a meal each Friday and the meal is just half the fun, our clients also get paired with an awesome volunteer who is there for them to chat with and help in anyway they can. If a potential client is located outside of our delivery radius we do encourage them to still reach out as we try to make small exceptions wherever we can.”

TheJoyBusDiner.com

While The Joy Bus provides meals once a week, this is where Food Tidings complements their efforts. A Food Tidings meal schedule allows family, friends and co-workers to organize and rally, both near and far, to support cancer patients with meals they may need at other times. Being “kindred spirits”, my hope is that we both continue to serve as a resource to inspire, encourage and support cancer patients and their families, all week long.

Knowing people care about you can do wonders in the process of cancer treatment. All it takes is one person to get rolling; on “The Joy Bus” and/or with a “Food Tidings” meal schedule. Just imagine the difference we can make, together!

If you or someone you know in the local, Phoenix area can benefit from their services, I hope you’ll jump on board and check them out. Whether you need assistance or not, you can support The Joy Bus mission by stopping by The Joy Bus Diner and enjoying a meal that pays it forward; as all proceeds support The Joy Bus operations.

Let’s keep making meals meaningful and enjoy the ride, as we spread tidings of food, comfort and joy.

More details:

The Joy Bus Diner

FoodTidings.com

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